The Diary of a Procrastinator

Dear Diary

I'm sick of this! It's killing me! I need to stop this!
That's what I tell myself anyway. Hi, I'm a procrastinator... I'm finally writing this after weeks of putting it off. I look back and think; 'So much time wasted when I could've just wrote this in an afternoon'. Then I go ahead and write this experience off and say to myself; 'I won't do this next time'. Which is obviously a lie I tell myself because next time, when I have something important to do, I'll just put it off until the last minute. It's a crazy trap that I've gone and caught myself in and I don't know how to get out of it. Any plan or promise I make to myself will be put off for weeks and by then I'll forget the plans that I've made and the cycle will begin again. I have to say that this really does suck. What can I do to stop this? Is there some magic pill that I can take to make this problem go away? No? Yeah, there never is, is there? I wish this could just go away easily but that's part of the problem, isn't it? Only doing what is easy and wishing the hard stuff was easier. I've realised something in all my years of procrastinating; nothing great ever comes from something that was easy or putting off something that is hard... All that will get you is endless heartache about how you could've done more if only you put more effort into it or if you started sooner. *Sigh* If only... I've used those two words a lot in my life. Every time I've disappointed someone, every time I've screwed something up and every time I've felt disappointed in myself. I make excuses about how it wasn't my fault or how it was out of my hands or (and this is my favourite) how I didn't have enough time... The truth is that I did have enough time, it was in my hands the entire time and most importantly it was my own stupid fault... I was the fool who believed that I could put everything off till the last minute, but I couldn't... I. Could. Not.
I am the cause of my own failure...
For once in my life I am taking responsibility. I'm royally screwing up my own life and I'm tired. I'm tired of being lazy. I'm tired of procrastinating. I'm tired of not achieving anything significant. I am tired... It's time for a change...
Maybe this time I won't put it off until it's too late.

Love,
A Procrastinator